INTRODUCING CURTIS — RAVI MANGLA

I’d like you to meet Curtis. He works with me in accounting.

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Say hello to Curtis. He has a fantastic weather app on his phone. It’s accurate almost half the time.

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Have you met Curtis? His insoles are custom-molded to his feet.

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Please welcome Curtis. He collects foreign currency. Mostly Canadian.

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My friend, Curtis. His pants once tore performing the chicken dance at a wedding and he spent the rest of the night in his car.

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It’s my pleasure to introduce Curtis. He keeps a photograph of his ex-wife in his wallet.

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Give a big warm greeting to Curtis. His mother accompanied him to junior prom and left with his guidance counselor.

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Meet my dear colleague, Curtis. Please don’t serve him any peppery foods, as they irritate his bowels.

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Do you know Curtis? Last week he invited his neighbor over to watch television, but she declined, indicating she had a set at home.

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Curtis, everyone. Everyone, Curtis. His online backgammon exploits are legend.

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May I present Curtis. Sometimes, when ordering takeout, he’ll use a name other than his own. It’s a lie he’s grown accustomed to telling.

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Hi, this is Curtis. Can you believe he didn’t want to come here tonight?

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Ravi Mangla is the author of the novel Understudies (Outpost19). His stories have appeared in Mid-American Review, The Collagist, American Short Fiction, Barrelhouse, and Corium Magazine. He lives in Rochester, New York.