DRINKING GAME RULES — SAGE TYRTLE
/Drink Baileys from your parents' liquor cabinet when Nicole sleeps over. Drink when your parents are having date night. Drink when you're kissing in a pickup behind the Texaco. Drink when your dad moves out. Drink when you move out. Drink three shots of cherry vodka when your aunt gets you a job interview. Drink when you're bored. Drink a Mojito when your coworker says, again, "Oh my god, she did not." Drink when the wedding's over. Drink when you're anxious. Drink when you want to hear the glass filling, the foam hissing. Drink when the White Sox win. Drink when the baby is having her bottle. Drink when you have a fight. Drink when you're having date night. Drink white wine at Book Club, points subtracted if you mention The Hate U Give or Angie Thomas at any point. Drink when you've had another, another, another fight. Drink when you're alone. Drink when you're at a party. Drink when it's 2:45 AM and you're lying on the couch, bonus points if you finish the bottle within an hour. Drink when the house is empty. Drink when the sun rises. Drink when you're sober.
Sage Tyrtle's stories have been featured on NPR, CBC and PBS. She is a Moth GrandSLAM winner. In her basement a team of brilliant scientists work night and day, figuring out how to bring Louise Fitzhugh back to life. Twitter: @sagetyrtle
