THE MAGIC OF SPICES — SUDHA BALAGOPAL
/Mother says cinnamon can improve ovarian function. She mixes me a drink of hot, dust-brown liquid, sprinkles the powdered spice on my oatmeal in the morning and on my yogurt at night. I ask if she knows that if it's not Ceylon cinnamon, the bark is useless.
I don't tell her it's more than my organs that need help.
My husband gripes that the house smells like a cheap, fast-food restaurant.
Mother says the compound curcumin in turmeric is a potent antioxidant that can dissolve uterine fibroids. She stirs turmeric into curries, into stews, and into my cup of warm milk. I ask why anyone would consume such a hideous rhizome with its bulbous shape and bumpy joints.
I don't tell her there's an aching void in my lower abdomen, day and night.
My husband laments that our white kitchen counters show ugly yellow stains.
Mother says chili powder can aid the reproductive system. She places liberal amounts in soups, pastas, and sandwiches. I ask her how she doesn't know that, technically, chili peppers are a fruit and cause heartburn in those susceptible.
I don't tell her my heart's aflame without the chilies.
My husband protests that spicy foods make his eyes water, his nose run.
Mother says I should chew two cloves of garlic, a well-known aphrodisiac, every day. She instructs me to believe, to swallow the garlic, and wait. I ask her why she calls garlic a spice when it's a member of the lily family.
I don't tell her it's foolish to believe in magic.
My husband grumbles about bad odor, increases the distance between us.
Mother says ginger will help keep my eggs safe, repair tissue, increase blood flow, and remove toxins. I ask why she needs both turmeric and ginger, each more ghastly than the other.
I don't tell her that none of her attempts matter, nature cannot knit this.
The essence of ginger chai, gingersnap cookies, and ginger stir fry wafts through my clothes, past my skin, into my arid, starved cells.
My husband doesn't complain anymore. He has stopped eating at home.
Sudha Balagopal's recent short fiction appears in Smokelong Quarterly, Split Lip Magazine, Pidgeonholes and Milk Candy Review among other journals. She is the author of a novel, A New Dawn. Her work has been nominated for the Pushcart, Best Small Fictions, and Best Microfiction and is listed in the Wigleaf Top 50, 2019.
